I'm Having a Baby!!!
The amazing, crazy-talented Literary-Git came up with the idea for this story! So if y'all like it you should give him a virtual hug!
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San Francisco, CA 1956
"Oh boy! What a day!" A high pitched, squeaky voice came out of the speakers on your television set.
"How can you watch this rubbish? These cartoons are for children!" Your brother-in-law Arthur scoffed as he took a seat on the sofa beside you with a cup of tea in his hand.
"Shhhh!" You put your finger up to your lips and kept your eyes glued to the television screen. "This is my favorite episode!"
Arthur chuckled and took a sip of his tea. "I suppose you are just a child." he mumbled. Well, you obviously weren't that young-you were married and pregnant after all. But you were a little bit childish. You had to be since your husband, Alfred, was equally, or even more so immature. That's what you loved about him! He made you feel so young and joyful and his beautiful smile was contagious! The two of you had been married for a little over a year now and you were expecting a sweet, little baby any day now! You wanted a girl but Alfred obviously wanted a boy. Alfred always wanted a son who'd grow up to be the next Jackie Robinson or Babe Ruth; a real baseball hero! Alfred used to play baseball in Highschool and throughout college, he was even offered a position on The Boston Red Sox (his home team) but he turned it down to raise a family with you. He was such a good man.
"Oh my goodness!" You jumped as you began to feel rather strange and your dress felt wet. "Arthur! My water broke!"
"Wh-what!? You're joking right?" He laughed awkwardly.
"Artie this is no joke! You've gotta take me to the hospital!" You pleaded.
"Y-yes! Of course!" He bolted up off of the sofa and accidentally poured his tea all over him in the process.
"We need to call Alfred!" You exclaimed and began scurrying towards the telephone.
"We'll call him at the hospital! Come on!" Arthur grabbed your arm and rushed you out the front door.
In the car you began to panic. Arthur told you to just keep breathing and that you were almost there. When you got into the hospital the nurses rushed you into a wheel chair and took you to a room.
"Arthur call Alfred! He has to be here!" You insisted as you were being situated into your hospital bed.
"Of course!" Arthur ran to the lobby and requested to use the phone.
"Alfred you need to come to the hospital right away! ________'s in labor!" Arthur fumbled out.
"Holy shit!" Alfred exclaimed and dropped the phone, not even saying a proper, "I'm on my way! Bye!"
"I'm having a baby!" Alfred yelled as he jumped out of his desk and booked it outta the door of the classroom. Alfreds U.S. History students watched as their teacher, Mr.Jones, slipped and sprinted down the tile of the Highschool hallway.
"Party!" One of the students exclaimed as they slammed the classroom door shut.
Alfred didn't even bother to tell the principal he was taking the remainder of the day off, or even bothered to ask a fellow teacher to watch after his class for him. The only thing in his head was, "Get the hell outta Dodge! My wife needs me!" As he sped through the city in his Blue Thunderbird he eventually hit an obstacle, there was a HUGE traffic jam on Market Street!
"Of course!" He yelled and slammed his head on the steering wheel, making the car horn honk. "I don't have time for this!"
Meanwhile, back to you!
"Where's Al?" You groaned.
"He should be on his way! It'll be okay, Love." Arthur assured you as he held your sweaty hand.
"I'm not having this baby without him!"
"But what if it can't wait?"
"This baby has been in my stomach for NINE MONTHS! I think it can wait just a little longer!"
"I-I don't think nature works that way!"
Back to Alfred~
It would take him to long if he took Van Ness or Hayes street so he decided the quickest way to get to you was to jump out of the car and run the rest of the way. Thankfully, the city of San Francisco was only 7x7 miles, so things were rather close.
"Hold on, babe! I'm coming!" He yelled as he sprinted up the sidewalk, which was a huge hill, in the direction of the hospital. Pedestrians watched him like he was insane and the cars behind his car started honking because his car was parked in the middle of the street.
Alfred was just about dying when he finally made it to the hospital.
"Where's _______ Jones' room? I'm her husband!" He wheezed to the nurse in the waiting room.
The nurse directed Alfred to your room and almost collapsed when he was finally at your side.
"How're you doing?" Alfred breathed heavily as he tightly gripped your hand.
"Alfred, why are you---" You began to ask as you noticed your husbands exhausted, sweaty appearance.
"It doesn't matter! What matters is I'm right here for you, alright? You can do this, babe." He assured as he kissed your hand.
"Okay..." You managed a smile.
The doctors prepared you and you began to push. You were squeezing Als hand so hard that your knuckles turned white.
"Hey guys, is ____--- Oh my gosh..." Alfreds younger brother Matthew bursted through the door but passed out when he saw what was happening.
"Matthew!" You exclaimed, worried about him.
"Don't worry about him! He's fine! Focus on the baby! Push!" Alfred reminded you.
One more push and out popped your baby!
"Good job, Sugar!" Alfred let out a relieved sigh and kissed your sweaty forehead.
"Hey, there's another one!" The doctor exclaimed.
"What!?" You and Alfred exclaimed in unison. Alfreds eyes grew huge and he passed out on the floor beside you.
"Alfred!" You exclaimed.
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"Mr.Jones! Mr.Jones! Wake up, sir!" One of the nurses called as the applied a wet sponge to Alfreds face. Al finally woke up and opened his eyes to see that he was still in the hospital.
"You've got someone who wants to meet you." The nurse said as she helped Alfred up to his feet. Alfred shakily made his way to the hospital bed where you were laying with two itty, bitty little babies wrapped up in pink and blue blankets. You looked up at him and smiled.
"Twins." You said barely above a whisper.
"Wow..." Alfred exclaimed has he knelt down to get a better look at his children. "We got a girl and a boy." He chuckled.
"A future baseball hero like his daddy." You smiled.
"And a sweet, beautiful American girl like her mama." Alfred added. He could feel a small tear try to sneak down his cheek and he gently kissed them both on the forehead, then gave you a kiss on the lips.
"I'm proud of you." He grinned.
"You passed out." You giggled.
"Yeah... Let's keep that a secret." He laughed.
"I love you."
"Love you to, baby... And babies." He smiled down at his beautiful baby angels.
Arthur and Matthew joined you to see their new niece and nephew.
"Arthur... What's on your pants?" Al asked.
Arthur looked down to see the huge tea stain that was across his lap.
"Um... I-I had an accident with some tea..." Arthur replied embarrassed that he had gone out in public like this.
You all laughed, but quietly so you wouldn't wake the babies.
"It wasn't that kind of accident!"
The End xXoOxXoOxXoOxXoOxXo





















Student 1: Hell yeah fucking right!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Student 2: We having a party today!!!!
Student 3: Even though we don't know where the hell Mr. Jones went to, but WHO CARES?!?!?!
Student 4 (nerdy student): But shouldn't we be doing school-
Student 3: Shut the hell up before I find a better reason NOT to beat you to death.
Student 1: Let's PARRRRRRRRRRRRRTAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*What would had happened in my class.